When it comes to defining what true love is, different people have a lot of different ideas. For example, in Buddhism, these elements have to combine in order to make love everlasting and true.
These elements are not spiritual or magical concepts, but they are behaviors and virtues which we need to hold regarding love to make it even stronger.
They will make your relationship more fulfilling and joyful:
Conquer the angry one by not getting angry; conquer the wicked by goodness; conquer the stingy by generosity, and the liar by speaking the truth. – Buddha
This word is translated into benevolence and kindness. This is not just the wish to make a person happy but being able to do that too. You can have the intention to love someone, but the way that you love can make them unhappy.
You can also harness the capacity of Maitri by looking more profoundly at the one that you love and develop a deeper understanding of who they are as a person, When you understand your loved one, you are going to learn how to love them. Such understanding is based on the ambitions, or the wants, and even the troubles of your love.
You should take some time in order to be careful and observe your love. You can listen to their words and ask them about their ambitions and hopes. Learn more about love as it will help in opening the door to understanding them better, and how to love them in a more meaningful and fulfilling way.
If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly our whole life would change. – Buddha
This is the second element of true love which means compassion. This is the capacity of people to ease the pain of others, and desire to. This is definitely based on understanding, but understandings such as of sufferings of your love. When you understand their suffering, you are going to have the ability to help to alleviate it, and even easing their suffering.
Practicing meditation is going to help you in understand your loved person and understand what distresses them, or how you can have the ability to help or support them.
You should communicate with your partner about the troubles he or she has and ask if there is something you can do in order to help them immediately. With the opening of this communication, you should develop an understanding and the desire to help is going to strengthen your relationship for sure.
There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path. – Buddha
This is the third element which is translated as happiness or joy. This element of real love is said to be one of the most significant ones, and in some ways, it ties all the four elements of true love together. When love is without happiness or joy, then love is not true.
When your love distresses you or upsets you, then it is not the love to start with, or the love was lost. Love has to be fulfilling and bring happiness and joy to those that feel it. When in love, and when experiencing joy for that love, our love is going to become stronger, and this is definitely the sign which says that love is true. Once there is no happiness and joy, then there is no love any longer.
You should take the needed time in order to do some things which will bring you joy, together or as individuals. It will be this development of joy which is going to allow you to share your joy with your love. You need to have the ability to find joy within yourself and with each other, in order to have love in its most real form.
The price of freedom is simply choosing to be. – Buddha
This is the last element of love, which is translated as freedom. When love is real, both the individuals in the relationship should feel free and have the freedom they need.
Every one of us has to feel free to be the person to allow them to develop and grow as they want. This is going to allow them to be themselves and also have some time alone, safe in the knowledge that the other one is doing the same thing.
Freedom within a relationship has to exist always, and people should have the ability to feel comfortable to share their thoughts or ideas without any judgment or fear. This is another sure sign of true love.
So, remember to spend some time apart from your partner without feeling the need to check up on one another. You should do the things which you enjoy to do as an individual, feeling proud of yourself. When you return together as a couple, you should discuss those things and explain why they make you happy.
The famous Buddha spoke about a lot of things, but life and love were the main focus. The teachings of Buddha on love show us that real love has to be something enlightening and positive, and something which brings freedom and joy to our lives. When you keep these four elements of love in mind, it may be easier for you to find the true love for yourself.
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Image Credit: Shutterstock (licensed by SDS)/by Jacky Brown
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