How we define narcissism? A person being a narcissist means that that person is selfish, arrogant, as well as needs admiration and love from the rest of the world. Unfortunately, a lot of people that have narcissistic personalities do not know or refuse to admit that they are just like that.
People that have strong narcissistic tendencies hate seeing other people do well. Even though they show self-confidence, they lack it. There is actually an enormous difference between being confident in yourself and thinking that you are the best.
There are a few psychological reasons why narcissistic individuals behave like that, and here we will mention the most important ones.
A narcissistic person can hardly realize how much other people have to work to be successful. They actually assume that others use the same dishonest means which they would use in order to get what they want.
They cannot even imagine that another person could be more capable. These people also cannot believe that somebody worthier than them may exist. Narcissists don’t understand that other people achieve their goals as they can work hard.
If someone else owns more things that a narcissistic person or is better than them at something, their feeling of superiority can get even stronger. This same goes for their ambition to have whatever the other person has. A narcissist also believes that no one deserves to have what they don’t have.
They feel pleasure when they see the struggles, problems, as well as the humiliation of others. There is one German term for this – Schadenfreude. This is a compound noun of Schaden which means damage, harm, and Freude, which means joy. Narcissistic people are glad when other people cannot achieve their goals.
When people feel miserable or are not happy, narcissists have sadistic tendencies and feel extremely pleased when they make other people suffer. As they cannot achieve happiness themselves, they could only feel envy and resentment if someone else is happy or prosperous. Also, they may quickly become rude and arrogant.
Narcissists think that other people are undeserving of success and happiness. Also, if someone else different than them is doing well and is succeeding, the narcissist would feel they are in danger.
The reason for this is as narcissists have a strong psychological need to always compare themselves with others. When they do, they can just see things in black and white. Either they are the best, or they are losers. A narcissistic person could never accept to be on the losing side.
As they are incredibly insecure about their abilities, narcissistic people do not want the world to see their flaws. So, they would not accept a negative opinion about them. Because of that, they may act aggressively toward people that do not like them much or do not support them.
Another way for a narcissistic person to undermine the value of other person is by belittling and insulting them. They would try to destroy other people, turn them against their friends, bully them, as well as abuse them and do a lot of other emotionally harmful things.
First of all, we know that real satisfaction comes from within. Those people that have a narcissistic personality cannot feel genuine happiness as they lack individuality. Therefore, they will feel upset, and they will try to be happier by managing their flawed sense of self-esteem.
Narcissists look for external acknowledgments of their success. Such people believe that they would increase their social status merely by buying expensive things, as well as by having more sex, earning more money, etc. nevertheless, these things cannot buy them true happiness. What they do not realize is that real contentment comes from within.
Narcissists may be different – grandiose, communal or covert – but all of them have a common trait: they are insecure and cannot accept the happiness of other people. Handling a narcissistic person might be challenging, as they can drain our energy, make us feel uncomfortable, as well as manage to focus all the attention on themselves. That can be too stressful for most of us that deal with a narcissist. So, sooner or later, other people start avoiding them.
However, if you have to face a narcissist, do not permit them to make you feel bad about yourself, as that is their therapy.
You are not doing something wrong with living a happy, as well as a peaceful and comfortable life. You should do all that is possible to distance yourself from such people; evil people will always be unhappy, but it is not your fault at all.