Some days, you probably wonder if you will ever entirely be yourself again, and unluckily, those days look like to be happening more than you would like to admit it.
Of course, relationships take a lot of work, but they are supposed to be interesting. When you are with the right person for you, relationships can be quite simple. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship in which they are afraid of their partner. Still, that is more and more common these days. Sometimes, you may be ashamed to admit that you stayed in a relationship in which you were fearful of your partner. This is the case with the girl who tells us this story.
She says that all it took was one day, one day where she had enough courage to walk away. We should all walk away from toxic people. Walking away was not the best decision she has ever made, she had let someone take so much from her, and if she did not dare to walk away, she says that she doesn’t know where she would have been today.
She lost her smile which once lit up any room she walked into, as he couldn’t stand to see her happy. Her smile was a bother to him. Once he charmed her into falling for his act, he knew he had her hooked, and he knew that he could manipulate her. He knew that he had her wrapped around his finger and he knew she would not leave him. Because of that person, she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror anymore, as he made her feel lower than she ever knew was possible.
Because of him, she lost her self-confidence and care-free attitude. She was a girl that ‘did not deserve to be told compliments because she didn’t need them.’ Because of him, she felt worthless.
She spent so much time convincing herself that he was going to go back to the man she has first met that she was completely aware of the fact that it was impossible. She wanted so badly to believe that it was all just a phase, but it was not.
The man that she first met was not him; it was who he wanted to be seen as. He turned out to be nothing but a liar, as well as a cheater. She consistently made excuses for him and disregarded his wrongs. She also wanted him to so badly be the man he pretended to be that she was blind. And, because of that, she made their relationships picture perfect on Instagram. She thought that if she made it look perfect, then it would be perfect. Because of him, she lied to everyone that asked her how they were. She lied because she thought if she lied about it enough it would become the truth. She deliberately chose to ignore all the signs as all she wanted to do was to see the best in him.
Because of him, she realized that maybe some people do not have any good. Because of that, she stopped being the person who saw the best in everyone else, the person that gave everyone else the benefit of the doubt.
She thought that if she just brushed everything aside and loved him with everything in her that it would make him love her back. It took forever to understand, but she now realizes that it is impossible to make someone love you who only know how to love themselves. Because of him, she felt alone while being physically next to him. She was dating a man that refused to kiss her and look at her. Because of him, he made her feel unworthy. No matter how many times she had a huge smile on her face and was excited to see him, she was never worth looking at. She was dating someone who intentionally put her down so he could have the power. It seemed like a game to him; the worse he could make her feel, the better it made him feel.
Whenever he bailed on her or ignored her calls, he somehow made her feel as if she deserved it. He made her feel as if she did not deserve to be spoken to. Every time she questioned him cheating, he somehow turned it around to her. It was her fault he had things as ‘if she trusted him, he would not have to hide it.’ It was her fault he messaged girls on social media, as ‘if she trusted him, it should not matter who he talked to.’ He manipulated her into believing she was the crazy one.
Because of him, she stopped greeting everyone with a smile which she made eye contact with, as he was jealous to so many people who knew her. She felt guilty for being friendly because of him. Because of him, she convinced herself she must be a whore if he says that she is a whore. Because of him, every time someone complimented her on something, she didn’t want it to be true. And, because of him, she wanted to be less of a person than she is.
He was the same guy who was always in a relationship. The guy who jumps into a new relationship immediately after he finished an old one, as he cannot survive without manipulating someone else. He is the guy who started a new relationship only four days after they broke up. She truly feels sorry for the girl he is with, as he is going to continue making girls think the way he made her feel. He is never going to be happy with himself, and the only way he knows how to try to fill the void within him is to put other people down.
As she left him, she feels even more empowered than ever. Because she left him, she remembers what it’s like to be the girl that is always smiling, but she remembers the person who took that away from her. She got her corky sense of humor back, and she met so many people that admire her for who she indeed is and do not knock her down for it. She says that she will never again tolerate someone who does that. Because she left him, she knows what it feels like to be truly loved.
Activate a wonderful, powerful loving energy within yourself, and give rise to a permanence of loving nature through this Pink Quartz 7 Chakra Healing Bangle.
"I declare that the heart's release by sympathetic joy has the sphere of infinite consciousness for its excellence."
Is there a particular outcome, opportunity, or material thing you really want in this moment?
Do you hold on to expectations of how certain people around you should behave and treat you?
And do you have high expectations of yourself?