I finally forgave the most important person in my life
I didn’t realize how much I had resented her until I started to work on releasing anger. Guilt. Pain.
In my self inquiry with buddhist philosophy of metta meditation, vipassana and loving kindness, I found out how horrible I was treating her since I never forgave her.
In childhood for being embarrassed of her grandparents’ ethnic ways and the things she said to them in an attempt to assimilate. In her adolescence for betraying her boyfriend and hurting him. In her adulthood for not being there enough for her ill parents. In current life for thinking she is not always the best mother or wife.
I was hard on her. And expected a lot of her. Always.
I didn’t always readily forgive her when she made a mistake. When she didn’t meet my expectations.
That someone is me.
It’s why learning to forgive myself took many years, but through mindfulness, I found a way.
I forgave my inner child, her teenage self, her adolescent rebellion and even found beauty in her imperfections of motherhood and partnership.
I found my truest nature was enough.
I am enough.
Finding forgiveness was essential for me on this path towards true self. It was like lifting bricks from my shoulders when I finally let go.
This exercise is inspired from my mindfulness teacher, a number of years ago, that allowed me to feel the light of forgiving yourself and others that have wronged you. I hope that it inspires you to find liberation with forgiveness as well.
With light and love,
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