Getting Rid of Negativity in Toxic Relationships

This article first appeared in and is written by Shiva Rose

Recently a friend of mine said something that sparked an “aha” moment for me. My friend said, “You have a holistic web site on healthy living, and yet you’re involved with several toxic people in your life.” I realized in that moment that healthy living doesn’t just mean exercise and eating right, but also being careful of the energy you absorb around you.

Some of us may have a friend or family member in our lives who on an unconscious level doesn’t want to see us succeed or be in our light. As I move ahead on my spiritual path, I am trying to discern between friends and frenemies. I do know that when I’m in a situation where I feel a negative energy there are things I can do to make me feel more protected. Some may think this is pure imagination, but I really do feel I can divert and diffuse negative energy with these tactics.

1. Burn white sage.

I have bundles of white sage or smudge sticks in my house. If I’m home and have just had a negative encounter, I burn the sage all around myself and the house. The Druids and ancient Celts burned sage for wisdom and knowledge. The Native Americans burn it for clearing energy and as a scared purifying element. This clearing method has been in practice for thousands of years, and the smell of burning sage seems to promote emotional well- being.

2. Listen to a mantra or incantation.

If I’m confronted with someone with road rage, or I’ve had a particularly stressful day, I play certain mantras in my car or home. There are many beautiful Sanskrit prayers, chants by Tibetan monks and Kundalini mantras that can change the vibrations in our environment. Modern medicine is finally in agreement with ancient mystics that sound vibrations are healing and can bring our bodies into harmonious balance and resonance.

3. Rescue remedy and other flower essences.

Wild fennel and peace lily are just some of the flower essences that can remove negativity. Warrior rose is a protective essence, and spraying rose water can shift the energy instantly and open the heart.

4. Visualizations.

For those moments when you’re having a negative confrontation, it’s best to imagine a shower of white light spraying over oneself as a protective shield. There’s also the mirror tactic where one can imagine being surrounded by a walls of mirrors that are deflecting the negativity.


Shiva Rose is an actress, writer, activist and blogger for her web site The Local Rose. She lives near the Santa Monica mountains with her two daughters nestled by a creek with their organic garden, rabbits, bees, chickens, cat Fig and dog Luna.

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