Calming Mantras To Help Deal With Difficult People

Calming Mantras To Help Deal With Difficult People

This article was adapted from a piece originally appearing on

As much as I would like to think of myself as an enlightened soul who never gets frustrated by life — that just isn’t true. As a human, I have a tendency to be moody, irrational, sensitive, and selfish.

So for those of you who also hold on to a healthy mix of optimism and realism, here’s a list of mantras for when you need an affirmation with a satisfying kick to it. Use it the next time you’re dealing with someone who makes you feel unsettled, frustrated, or downright furious. You’re welcome.

1. People are jerks — love them anyway.

Think of this little affirmation as a sanity pill for your soul — one that you can use during life’s small everyday annoyances. Add it into your “stay sane toolbox” and mutter it aloud the next time someone cuts you off in a traffic jam, steals your parking space, jumps the line at the airport, or simply is a pain. You can repetitively chant to yourself “All people are worthy of love, all people are worthy of love” until you start to feel your frustration dwindle.

2. Smudge it. Karma’s on the case.

This is an awesome affirmation for when you need to tell yourself not to sweat the small stuff or — as us New Age optimists would say — smudge the small stuff. The ritual of smudging is an ancient cleansing ceremony that uses smudge sticks, usually of white sage, to clear away negative energy.

For the modern-day quick-fix ritual, I prefer to ditch the sage and just clear the energy with the cleansing comment “Go smudge yourself.” It’s the ultimate mantra for when you’re confronted with a slap in the face of negativity. Simply put this phrase front and center in your thoughts to clear away anybody else’s bad vibes. Try to visualize yourself being cleansed — washing away their negative energy so you’re left feeling refreshed. It’s really satisfying to say to yourself; trust me. Think of it as a New Age profanity.

3. Breathe it all in, love it all out.

This calming affirmation is for when that raging vein in your forehead has a pulse so loud it’s like you have an angry dance rave in your head. It’s amazing what a deep breath and the word love can do for someone at their breaking point. It can also be used as a warning to those who are letting their negativity spill over into your space. I have muttered it to frustrating work colleagues on multiple occasions and found that it helps them to reflect on their behavior. It’s a great mirror to give people who still need to learn a little more in the love department.

4. Enlighten the f*** up.

Keep this mantra up your sleeve for when you are confronted with narrow-minded people who disregard your feelings, purposely put you down, or poke at you just to see how they can make you twitch. The phrase will inflict the best wound you can hit a negative person with: reflection. Trust me, people get this message loud and clear. It can be spoken aloud when your soul is at boiling point, said quietly to yourself, or internalized for a giggle within. For the more censored of souls, a simple “enlighten up” also tends to do the trick! 

5. Woooosaaaaahhhh …

We all know the famous Om — a gentle, reassuring, calming hum of a mantra that can be a powerful relaxation tool. Similarly, the woooosaaaaahhhh is the ultimate sound to unleash when you’re losing patience.

This long-winded sigh is for those moments when you’re fed up beyond words. It really can transform a bad day into an okay one. Take one of those “breathe it all in” deep inhalations and then woooosaaaaahhhh it all out.

Think of it as a release valve for your soul — I like to stretch my hands out when I say it, like I am surrendering to the stress. It can also be powerful to imagine all the strain and tension that has led up to your woooosaaaaahhhh release escaping through the top of your head, like the fizzy sound a bottle of soda makes when you open it… aaahhhhh.

Emma Mildon, also known as the Spiritual Personal Assistant, is an International Columnist, #1 Best Selling Author, and Publicist.